Catch Up Post

Well, I've been plodding along for the past few weeks doing nothing to encourage weight loss or living a healthier lifestyle. In fact, I have eaten Reese's & Cadbury Mini Eggs like they were tranquilizers! I don't know what's gotten into me. It seems like when I set goals for myself the complete opposite happens. I think maybe I should start telling myself I'd like to gain some weight because when I say I want to lose weight all I do is GAIN!

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I've hit another all time high on the scale. My body is beginning to feel & look like a Shar Pei puppy just not as cute. There's nothing cute about what I've allowed to happen to me. I'm now faced with warmer weather and the thought of pulling out my spring/summer clothes is nerve shattering. I'm really not sure if ANY of them are gonna fit. Tank tops? forget it, I'm looking at my second summer in t-shirts because I'm so embarrassed of my entire upper body. I really don't want to buy new clothes in a size I never wanted to see in my life! Just thinking about it makes me furious. I've become so uncomfortable in my own skin, at times I don't even recognize myself. I've become miserable, angry and antisocial. I really don't even want to leave the house. I push myself daily and make it to work, gotta pay the bills... But I don't enjoy anything about my day.

In other news, I'm reading Fat Chance by Dr. Lustig now. I just started this weekend so I don't have much to comment on, maybe I'll do a review about it when I'm done. I am going to try to eat more low carb and kick the sugar completely. I need to stop eating candy, it makes me hate food. It makes me hate everything! Eating candy is just so much easier than preparing meals. A handful of candy here and there gets me through the day with out any dishes! Can you say sugar addict?

I did take a 25 minute walk today at lunchtime. It was nice to be out in the fresh air, it's a beautiful day today. I tried to enjoy my time outside but as I walked all I could think about was how far out of shape I have let myself get.

Sorry for the doom & gloom.