FIrst Day of Spring

I'm starting over again.  I was all set last week. I restarted my tracker & set a new weight loss goal on spark people. I tracked for 3 days last week. Then a cold started on Thursday and took me out of commission. Good thing is I didn't have much of an appetite. I'm feeling almost 100% better today. I haven't exercised in ages and at the rate time is flying by I'll be lucky to lose 17 lbs by the time I turn 40. That would be 1 lb a week. Yea, 17 weeks from today I'll be 40. 12 weeks have gone by and I haven't been able to get a handle on getting and exercise routine down and eating well. There's always something going on to deter me. Colds/ injuries, deaths in the family, home construction, car troubles and long commutes get between me and what needs to get done. The thing is they don't seem to be going away. 

This week I've been having the mental battle with how I hate dealing with food and I am really over it. Food/eating is really annoying. You have to go shop for it, carry it in the house, put it away, decide what to make, then find time to cook it, clean it and put it away. Add to it the constant dishes, it's enough to make me throw my hands in the air and scream. I think this is why I'd rather eat chocolate. It's easy, no prep necessary and no clean up.

I know it's totally unrealistic to wish we were solar powered but I do wish it. So... I'm gonna track my food today and see if I can get going for 30 minutes on the treadmill tonight. I need to find time to cook too.

4 months 16 days

138 days or 4 months 16 days until my 4th decade starts. However you want to look at it, it's on it's way. To me birthdays are a personal New Year, I want to start this one off being in a healthier state than I am in now. This weight gain has dealt me a negative blow mentally & physically.

I really want to make changes to my life to live healthier. I need to learn how to stop myself when I am making poor nutritional decisions. Why do I make them? Mostly, it's convenience. Or the fact that chocolate tastes better than everything so why not eat it?! I need to actually make the time to have healthy prepared food on hand. I say it's gonna happen every week and something else always comes up.

I have to find balance so that when life throws me zingers I don't lose myself in the shuffle. I haven't been successful at that the past 2 months, in fact I failed terribly. I need to learn about "putting my needs first" which leads back to finding balance. I need time to exercise and to shop for & prepare food. Real people do it, I read their blogs. It's not just mumbo jumbo found in self help books.

I ask myself if other people can succeed at this why can't I?  Have you ever asked yourself this question?

I did have a "moment of balance" last night after work, I got the laundry going and walked on the treadmill for 30 minutes. My feet and calves didn't want any part of it but I kept on walking, slowly like 3.0! I hate that, that pace is what I can handle right now, but it is and I have to accept it.

I plan on walking again tonight. I need to get back to food logging even if it's just really laid back. Like just writing it all down (old school in a notebook) and not obsessing over calories/carb/fat online. Just watch for a week or so and then figure out if I'm gonna go back to tracking on Sparkpeople.

I got a reminder email for the Bayhead 5k it's 11 weeks away on May 18, 2013. The Color Run sent out an email saying registration is open, the race is on August 31, 2013 it's 26 weeks away. These are 5k's I had my sights set on in the beginning of the year when I bought my treadmill. I'm so far behind on the C25K training schedule I probably wouldn't be able to run the Bayhead 5k in May, I'd end up walking it. I have time to train for the Color Run, but I wonder how bad or annoying the whole color powder throwing thing can be. They make it sound like it's fun but it might not be. I'm not in a good place to decide today, I'll think about it more on the weekend.